have you ever seen a text post that was so unfunny you felt offended
you were born to impress no one but yourself
My new Mexican alarm clock
Vine by: Kingbach
did he rent a mariachi band just for these 6 seconds??
He did it for the vine.
what if you injected brownie mix into your bloodstream like since your body temp is like 98 the brownies would cook over a few days and then you will have clumps in your arms and you just cut it open and eat the brownies i should be a scientist
can we please not reblog this post
Hooray! Peace in our time.
"Cartoons? Isn’t that for kids?" I look up and smile " Yes it is" Suddenly my appearance shifts and shrinks as I become a child. All my money turns to monopoly money and all my bills are gone. My adult responsibilities vanish, finally the spell is broken, and I am free.
How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you
Tell your mom I’m sorry she didn’t give birth to me
New sweater :)
my dog gets more notes than me
if we’re mutually following each other i’m going to go between two extremes:
- replying to your text posts like we’re best friends when we’re not
- acting like i don’t know you exist because i don’t want you to think i’m coming on too strong
both of these things mean i want to be your friend i am just socially awkward as hell
These commercials would be so much better if they left them in.